In the short time since they escaped Destinea and returned to the Somniel, Alcryst has gotten used to the fact that they have Elusians among them. But he still can't think about them without remembering their role, passive as it was, in Father's death. He hasn't even used one of the new Emblem Rings, despite the Divine One's offer. He can't even look at them without remembering whose fingers they were on, especially the Ring of the Lady of the Plains.

But over the past few weeks, he's become painfully aware that he's the only one who still feels like this.

He sees Diamant not only talking to Princess Ivy, but him and Jade both sparring with Kagetsu. He overhears Citrinne offering to buy Zelkov a bird, Lapis asking about his craft materials, Amber agree to bring him some alpaca wool.

While Alcryst still can't even look them in the eye, or be in the same space as them. And his excuse is wearing thin, he knows very well they didn't personally kill Father, and that Elusia has been suffering from Sombron more than any other Kingdom.

How pathetic, whiny, and childish he must look compared to Diamant and the others. They've gotten over it, so why can't you? Even Citrinne isn't angry at them, and you saw how she reacted to Yunaka asking about that assembly.

But he can't get past their association with that day, and now he feels shame and guilt for feeling that way at all. Which makes him want to avoid them even more. Kagetsu looked about to offer him a spar, and he pretended he needed to check on one of the dogs in the farmyard. Zelkov walked into the Café, and he suddenly couldn't finish eating. And Princess Ivy...

She's a victim as much as you two are, Diamant is over it, stop being angry at her!

But all he sees is the person whose father killed his.

Pathetic. You're so selfish, just like that day.

"Alcryst?" The Divine One approaches the fishing pond and he loses his grip on the rod. She catches it before it can fall in. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Did you want to do some fishing? I can go get-"

"I wanted to talk to you, actually." His stomach sinks. About your behavior, how you've been so rude to Princess Ivy and her retainers. He puts the rod back, he hadn't been getting any bites anyway. What fish would want to be caught by someone like him?

"Of course."

"Somewhere private. How about we go to your room? Unless you'd be more comfortable somewhere less personal..."

"No, my room is fine." He'll want to stay in there for a while once she's done lecturing him like he deserves, maybe once he's had some isolation he'll get over himself and act like an adult about all of this.

He silently follows her, and once the door's closed he braces himself. I'd like you to stop pouting. Your sullen mood is dragging the rest of the army down, you're hurting our morale, nobody else would tell you because they don't want to hurt your feelings, but-

"I'm worried about you," she says, cutting into his imagination's cruelty, and he squeaks.

"Worried...?"

"For the past few days, you've been avoiding everyone and that's not like you," she says. "Diamant says you've either been holed up in your room or in the library, and you won't talk to anyone." No. No, I don't deserve this, I don't, I'm a bad person, I'm the worst...!

He buries his face in his hands as tears suddenly spill down his cheeks, and a sob escapes him.

"Alcryst!"

"I-I can't move on! Everyone else is making friends with them, all the other Brodians are over it and I just can't!" He falls to his knees, his shoulders shaking as he sobs. "I'm not like them, I'm not strong enough, I'm so selfish!"

She kneels down next to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. He doesn't dare look up at her.

"Don't say such things."

"But-"

"You're not lashing out at Princess Ivy and her retainers, you're not telling the others not to be friends with them, you haven't complained about them being here." She reaches up to brush away his tears. "You're not wrong for hurting."

"But that's just it! I can't hurt, not when Brodia and Diamant need me, not when you need me! I'm the only one who's not over it, I'm dragging everyone else down, they're all so much stronger than me..." He pulls away, sniffling, he doesn't deserve her gentle touch. "I've always been...I've never felt like a true Brodian," he murmurs. "Seeing all of them get along with those three, while I'm still so uncomfortable around them...it's just another thing that makes me different."

She pulls him to her, holding him tightly, and by instinct he grabs the fabric of her bodice and buries his face in her shoulder. She doesn't say anything, just holds him and lets him soak her with tears and snot. He doesn't deserve this, but she's so warm and he needs this, he hasn't cried since...

No, he thinks, he didn't even cry that night either. Willing himself not to in case anyone heard him and wasted time trying to comfort him. Especially Diamant, whom he needed to support more than ever.

It hurts. Father is gone, every time he looks at their Elusian allies he thinks of that day and he knows it's not fair, he wants to get over it for them and for the rest of Brodia now that he knows Diamant is trying to forge better relations between their kingdoms.

But it hurts, and even when he tries to make himself get over it, he can't. In fact, that only makes it worse.

"I just...I just wish-"

"You can't force these things." She leans her head against his. "You need time, and that's okay. You're not hurting anyone by not being ready, Alcryst."

He leans into her and feels her fingers carding through his hair, stroking his cheek, her arms locking around him. He feels guilty for how comfortable he is right now, but even that's fading away.

Maybe someday he'll be able to look Princess Ivy in the eye and not see his father's killer. To spar with Kagetsu, or ask Zelkov about his hobbies. Maybe someday he'll see Elusia the way Diamant does, and feel the same way about forging better relations.

But he needs time. And if the Divine One says it's okay, he'll try to let it be.